Who’s in Your Cheering Section?
Updated: Sep 11
Sometimes we’re so busy noticing who isn’t cheering that we miss the people who already are.
Last night, I was texting with one of my daughters.
She recently graduated with her PharmD and is in the middle of licensing exams. She had already taken one exam and was studying for the pharmacy law exam, and—as her mom—I was doing what moms do.
Encouraging her.
I texted:
“Okie dokie, you’re getting this. Step by step. And I’m taking a step into bed 😂 Good night, my pharmacist. I love you.”
Her reply came after I had gone to sleep:
"You’re doing your business step by step. Don’t discredit yourself. 💕 Good night, I love you.”
I woke up around 2 a.m., saw it, and my first thought was:
Wait…what?
I wasn’t discrediting myself.
I was talking about her.
And then the next morning, I looked at her message differently.
Maybe she wasn’t correcting me.
Maybe she was cheering for me.
And I almost missed it.
The People With Their Arms Crossed
Football season is here, so picture a stadium with me.
You’re down on the field.
You’re doing the work. Taking the hits. Learning the plays. Getting back up. Trying something new. Moving the ball a few yards at a time.
And there are people in the stands cheering for you.
But somewhere in that stadium are a few people sitting quietly.
Maybe they have their arms crossed.
Maybe they aren’t paying attention.
Maybe they left at halftime.
Maybe they never bought a ticket.
And somehow, those are the people we keep looking for.
Why aren't they cheering?
Do they believe in me?
Do they think I can actually do this?
Why haven't they said anything?
We can become so focused on the people who aren't acknowledging us that we completely miss the people who quietly are.
I realized I’ve done that.
Where Are You Looking?
When we care about someone, their support matters to us.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Of course we want the people we love to be excited for us. We want them to notice when we're growing, trying, changing, or doing something that matters to us.
And it can hurt when they don't.
But I've been thinking about the amount of energy we can spend staring into the section of the stadium that feels quiet.
Maybe someone didn't respond to something you shared.
Maybe someone hasn't acknowledged a change you're proud of.
Maybe someone you thought would be one of your biggest supporters doesn't seem particularly interested.
It's easy to start filling in the blanks. Hello Confirmation Bias, good to see you again!😂
Maybe they don't believe in me.
Maybe they don't take me seriously.
Maybe they're waiting for me to fail.
Meanwhile, someone else may be quietly saying:
I see you.
That's what my daughter was doing.
I was so busy trying to understand why she thought I was discrediting myself that I nearly missed what was right there in her message.
She sees me building something.
She sees me taking steps.
And while I was cheering for her, she was cheering right back.
You Don't Need a Sold-Out Stadium
Here's something I'm learning:
You don't need a sold-out stadium to keep playing.
Not everyone is going to understand what you're doing.
Not everyone will be excited about it.
Some people may not notice at all.
And yes, sometimes the people whose cheers we most want to hear may be surprisingly quiet.
But their silence doesn't have to become louder than everyone else's support.
Maybe instead of continually asking:
Who's not cheering for me?
We could start noticing:
Who is?
Who sends the text?
Who asks how it's going?
Who remembers the thing you told them about?
Who celebrates the small win?
Who says, Keep going?
Who believes in you while you're still figuring it out?
Sometimes our cheering section isn't very loud.
Sometimes it's one person sending a text after we've gone to bed.
But that doesn't make the encouragement any less real.
And Then There’s One More Seat
There's one person I haven't mentioned yet.
You.
Because maybe the most important seat in your cheering section is your own.
Can you encourage yourself when nobody is clapping?
Can you recognize your progress before somebody else validates it?
Can you say:
"I'm proud of how far I've come."
"I'm figuring this out."
"I'm taking it step by step."
"I don't have to have everything figured out to believe in where I'm going."
I'm working on this one myself, and I can say, sometimes it feels silly of how many times a day I've said, "I'm SO proud of you, look at what you've done!"
Maybe that's why my daughter's message landed differently when I read it again in the morning.
She gave me the same encouragement I had just given her:
Step by step.
Neither one of us has to have the whole thing figured out.
We just have to keep taking the next step.
So as football season begins, GO GREEN!, maybe it's worth looking up into your own stands.
Not at the empty seats.
Not at the person with their arms crossed.
Not at the person you wish were cheering louder.
Look around at the people who are already there.
And then make sure you're sitting among them.
Remember: Who is already in your cheering section?
And maybe even more importantly—
Are you in it? 🏈💗
Want someone in your corner?
Sometimes having someone in your cheering section means having a space where you can talk things through, recognize how far you’ve come, and figure out your next step.
That’s what coaching with me is about.
If you’ve been wanting a little more support as you move forward, I’d love to sit down with you for a free Coffee Chat. No pressure. Just a conversation about where you are, what you need, and whether coaching might be a good fit.
☕
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